This is the oldest song on the album, and also the one with the most personal significance.
When I was 20 and still in college, I returned home from class one day and retrieved a message from my apartment answering machine. It was my mother telling me to call as soon as possible. Her brevity and tone of voice suggested it was something serious. When I reached her, she gave me the bad news: my cousin, Christy, had been shot and killed by her boyfriend. She was only 17.
The details of the event were still pretty vague, but as my mother told it (and subsequent news clippings confirmed), Christy had been trying to leave the guy, they were fighting in his bedroom, his family kept firearms in the house, he grabbed a gun and threatened to shoot her if she left. The argument escalated, he pulled the trigger and that was it. She was a smart, beautiful, talented girl with all the promise in the world, and then she was gone. The event devastated her family; the boyfriend did jail time, not nearly enough.
I always felt close to my cousin, especially as kids, but we lived in different states (my family moved throughout the East Coast and Midwest; her family remained on Long Island) and we hadn't kept in touch as we grew older. I could tell you how I felt upon hearing the news, but I think "Your Absence Fills Every Room" sums it up better than any prose I can offer here.
I wrote the song immediately after hanging up the phone with my mother and have played it in various forms ever since. This version, I know, is the ultimate version, and I'm grateful that a friend—Ken Leonard—reminded me that the song was still valid and encouraged me to record it.
When I first presented it to Paul, Andrew, Calvin and John in the form of a demo—just guitar and voice—they knew it was about something heavy but didn't ask about its inspiration until the day we completed it. Even without that knowledge, they all came up with beautiful parts that perfectly complemented the sentiment.
The space left in the arrangement suggests the vacuum left behind when someone dies, but I think it's ultimately a hopeful song. The vacuum is filled by the person's energy—he or she appears in dreams, memories, common friends, favorite things etc. —and it's up to those who knew the person to carry it forward.
lyrics
YOUR ABSENCE FILLS EVERY ROOM
A life so close to mine
How'd I get so far behind
I couldn't for my life say
What happened in yours to take it away
So near the golden dream
Only seventeen
Don't idealize your fate
A trigger pulled you away from us all
I have your eyes
I'll wear your life
I know I'll carry the weight for you
Your absence fills every room
I heard the story goes
Another young life closed
But you're standing in my sleep
Saying it's all right it's not the pain that we keep
I have your eyes
I'll wear your life
I know I'll carry the weight for you
Your absence fills every room
Your absence fills every room
credits
from Paint No Devils,
released December 9, 2012
Robert Cherry: voice, acoustic guitar
Calvin Brown: acoustic guitar, electric guitars, mandolin, piano, regenerating feedback
Andrew McMullen: percussion
John Curley: electric bass guitar
Paul Lahey: vocals
Austin Brown: low-end Hammond organ
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